💬 Communication
Giving and Receiving Feedback
Specific, timely, and private beats clever and public — on both sides of the conversation.
7 min readunreviewed
FeedbackRelationshipsCommunicationEmotional Awareness
Principles
Observation, impact, request
What you saw, what happened as a result, and what you are asking for. Three sentences beat three paragraphs.
Private by default
Public correction almost always costs more than it gains, even when the content is right.
Distinguish preference from harm
"I would have done it differently" and "this hurt someone" require different conversations and different urgency.
In practice
- "When the exercise ran fifteen minutes over, half the group missed the closing. Could we hold the timing next week?"
- Asking "is now a good time for a piece of feedback?" before giving it.
- Saying thank you and taking a day before responding to criticism.
Reflection questions
- What feedback have I been avoiding giving, and why?
- How do I actually react in the first ten seconds of hearing criticism?
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